Now, you can be friends with all three types (so my husband tells me) "you just need to learn to take them at face value". This has always been difficult for me because I want everyone to be true and at the ripe age of 34 (almost 34) I have finally learned who is true and who is not. Unlike my husband; however, I don't know if I can have the users and ass kissers as friends. I have a tendency to hang on to people who abuse their friendship with me in hopes they will change. I think if I just keep being a true blue friend to these people that they will come around and I always get hurt. I have learned that I can change and I can't change others.
The user is an elusive creature. Hard to find when you are in need and can at times be confused with the ass-kisser. In my experience the user is fair weathered at best and when the chips are down for them transform into the ass-kisser to get what they need or want. I am forever the sucker and just recently learned to be weary of such characters. Getting used and then tossed to the curb hurts. The user in general doesn't like or down right hates true blue people especially if they are friends with the person who is being used. The user, when confronted with a true blue person, becomes arrogant. The users in my experience have even lied to come off as something better than what they are to maintain control of those being used, rare but I've seen it. Yep, a user who lies is a difficult personality to maintain a friendship with. I've learned just to let those people go.
Everyone knows an ass-kisser. They are the opposite of the hard-worker. They also can be confused with the user and some may even say that the ass-kisser and the user are actually the same person. Ass-kissers are in the moment. Friends with everyone and throw gifts, money and compliments at anyone willing to listen. I have found that ass-kissers are not good listeners. I have also found that ass-kissers really don't mean what they say. Attention is their goal. The ass-kisser will never tell you that you have a rip in the back of your pants. The ass-kisser will never tell you anything that could possibly stain the the perfect perception of themselves that they think they have created for the world to see. Telling you the truth is never an option. These people are two faced and will smile at you in public and then bitch about you at home. The one difference between the ass-kisser and the user is the ass-kisser will run to your aid if you call upon them. They run to your side but let me tell you that they only do it for the story they have to spread. You are merely around to make them look good.
True friends are a gem. Gems to be cherished. I am proud of the true friend in me. I am proud to have true friends in my life. True friends are the ones waiting in the sidelines to give you a smile when a user or an ass-kisser just tossed you away. True friends balance truth and kindness with a perfection that just can't be copied by a user or ass-kisser. True friends shine. True friends keep you grounded and then let you float. True friends forgive and forget. true friends are honest and let you know how awful your casserole was but always prefer kindness over being right.
I am no saint. I can identify with the user and the ass-kisser. I see these traits in some degree in myself and have the wisdom to change them. I have identified them in myself over the past year and as a result see them more clearly in those that I come in contact with. There is more to human personality than what I have suggested here but these themes seem to occur over and over in my life. This is an affirmation of who I am now and what I am letting go of. I am letting go of difficult relationships and inner conflicts and renewing the friendships that remain constant and positive. I have so much more to learn and I will never in this lifetime have the answers but I am getting closer. This has been the year of the friend and as this year comes to a close and the dust begins to settle I can see very clearly the people who have remained standing.
